6 Dicembre 2013

San Nicolò vs Babbo Natale: who brings the regals to the triestin mocoloses?

Buon San Nicolò dal Monon Behavior Research Department!
Regaleto! 🙂
Se volè el pdf impaginà ben (da far girar!) lo trovè a sto link.

San Nicolò vs Babbo Natale: who brings the regals to the triestin mocoloses?

DIEGO MANNA
Monon Behavior Research Department

Abstract
In the city of Triest, as in many cities of the world, in december the triestin mocoloses receive some regals. The tradition says that the official regalador is San Nicolò. However, some mocoloses think that it is Babbo Natale to bring them the regals. This study analyzes the differences between the two contendent to make finally chiarezz.

Key words: befana, feriera, ratapalz, ceenghiai, Polska… rivemo!

Introduction
In the city of Triest, from a lot of generations, during the nadaliz festivities the young mocoloses ciap a lot of regals. Traditionally, the popular credence is that these regals are portated by San Nicolò, but there is also an apocrif credence that it’s Babbo Natale who brings the regals. There is also the credence that it’s Little Jesus, but recent researches have dimostrated that he prefers to stay spaparanzated in the Presep, almen in this period, because he has ciolted ferie for his birthday. Also, he’s a little incazated with the third King Magio, who is an old insempiated and every year takes him mirra instead of birra. Last year, adiritur, the second King Magio was malated, so the third substituted him and poor Little Jesus received oro, Vincenzo and mirra. As this
Vincenzo was a great scassamaroons, Little Jesus hated 2012 and esclaimed “a saver, fazevo finir per bon el mondo el 21.12.2012”.
There is also the Befana who brings some regals, but that old maranteega brings only oranges, mandarins and other bombons, that are regals of serie B in confront of the zogatols of nadal, so noone have her pel cool.
So the final war is between San Nicolò and Babbo Natale. Who of them brings the regals to the triestin mocoloses? The aim of this study is to put the final word on this diatribe.

Material and methods
To understand who’s the quel of the regals of Triest, we firstly used the solit first person scoionament sampling method (Manna, 2009), simulanding personalment the life of both of them. As we realize that this way was too much scoionant, we used the first person monade reading in cesso sentated sampling method (Manna, 2010), analyzing comodament the informations about the two old men on the highly scientific databases of Wikipedia, Forum Trieste and facebook group “Se stava meio co se stava pezo”. We then assigned triestinity points for each characteristic.

Results

Name
Babbo Natale:
Babbo Natale, po’.
San Nicolò: San Nicolò, po’.
Triestinity points: both names can be pronunced with the typical triestin cadenz, Babbo Natalje and San Nicoljò. However, Babbo Natale is clearly not dialectal. To be triestin, he would have been called Babo Nadal, or Boba Nadal, or Bobana Dal, or Babo ‘Na Tara, or Boba Nagana, or…
San Nicolò 1 – Babbo Natale 0

Fig. Nadal. Babbo Natale in red with his favorite renn. Pupol by Chiara Gelmini.

Dress code
Babbo Natale: he is vestited in red (fig. Nadal), but many researchers think that in the origin he was green, and became red when he was pagated to make some reclams for the coca-cola.
San Nicolò: he is vestited with a long tunic of spritz color, and always has in his hands a ratapalz.
Triestinity points: it is evident that a triestin would never sell himself to a reclam of coca-cola, but piutost to a reclam of spritz. So, San Nicolò with his bright yellow tunic is the perfect spritz testimonial.
San Nicolò 2 – Babbo Natale 0

House
Babbo Natale: he lives all the year in Polo Nord, cagands himself indoss for the zeema.
San Nicolò: many think that San Nicolò is from Bari, the city. This is a great misunderstanding. Bari is not the city, Bari is the plural of Bar. So, San Nicolò lives all the year giranding all the baretts of Triest, drinking spritzets.
Triestinity points: fè voi ah…
San Nicolò 3 – Babbo Natale 0

Mezz of transport
Babbo Natale: he flies with his slittin sburtated by powerful cornuted renns.
San Nicolò:he hasn’t a slittin. He tried to pimp a boba bob using the cats of the major hospital as renns, but the cats didn’t have pel cool. He tried with dogs, but the dog of Trieste was always sad and never made him the feste neither to him that was his paron, so he send a postcard of protest to Trevisan that told him that the dogs of Trieste like only fiask of wine and no ga pel cool the rest (Lutazzi, 1968). He tried with cocals, so he could svolar as Babbo Natale, but all the cocals were at the Pedoceen and didn’t have pel cool.

Fig. Boboba. San Nicolò and the gnancapelcoolists. Pupol by Chiara Gelmini.

The only animals that spontaneament offer themselves were the ceenghiai, that wanted to make the cocolones to recuperate their rapport with the triestin people always incazated with them. But San Nicolò answered them that the only method to stay cocolones to triestins is that they become immediately parsuts, salams and ombols. Col cren (Fig. Boboba).
Triestinity points: as we are cocolones, we give a point to Babbo Natale, cussì, per cambiar, gnanche pel cool.
San Nicolò 3 – Babbo Natale 1

Fig. Ame. The 1958 locandin of the Babbo Natale route tracking project.

Route
Babbo Natale:
there are many military programs that have tracked the route of the slittin of Babbo Natale (per bon, no ciogo pel cool: NORAD, 1955), from Polo Nord to all the world (Fig. Ame).
San Nicolò: as all respectable triestins, during work San Nicolò is invisible to the radars.
Triestinity points: we would give the point to San nicolò, but he is mo­mentaneament invisible to our radars.
San Nicolò 3 – Babbo Natale 2

Efficiency
Babbo Natale:
trascuranding some zones of the world and some mocoloses, he brings regals to about 100 million houses in about 31 hours, helped by the fuso orario traveling from east to west. So he has 800 consegns for second and must fly at supersonic speed. With all the regals in the slitin, this will generate a great resistence that will soon incinerate the first pair of renns (Nonciclopedia, 2013). So, all the renns make always a great skagazz to stay behind.
San Nicolò: Triest is the city of the veciones. There’s not so much work to do.
Triestinity points: having a great efficiency is a bad syntom of acute furlanite. Maybe Babbo Natale is lanfur?
San Nicolò 4 – Babbo Natale 2
(Referee advisory: yes, we know. This point parts from the hypothesis that San Nicolò brings the regals in the city of Triest, thing that is not yet dimostrated. But gnanche pel cool, dei. Take a spritz).

Fig. Panocia. A typical regal from Babbo Natale.

Regals
Babbo Natale: in his house in Polo Nord, he works all the year to produce the regals with his aiutants elves (Fig. Panocia).
San Nicolò: he produces nothing, imboscated all the year in his tour of barettes. So, maybe he finally buys the regals last minute, probably from Orvisi (rip).
Triestinity points: working all the year is not compatible with a triestin behavior. Hardly working, panoce… mmm… bad suspects…
San Nicolò 5 – Babbo Natale 2

Regals to cative mocoloses

Babbo Natale: he regals to cative mocoloses carbon. But it’s a fint sweet carbon of zuccher.
San Nicolò: he regals to cative mocoloses pure ranzid carbon with the
controcarbones 100% Ferriera DOC, that he steals of sconton rubanding it from the sconted deposites of the stabiliment.
Triestinity points: unfortunately, Ferriera and Triest is an indissociable binome, tacated with the catrame ciò.
San Nicolò 6 – Babbo Natale 2

Contact call (che tecnico, ah?)
Babbo Natale: he emits the typical vocalization “Oh-oh-oh“, often imitated by some mocoloses, as reported by Povia.
San Nicolò: no one knows his contact call. Maybe : “ciò buta un spritz dei!”.
Triestinity points: dificilment the povianic call “Oh-oh-oh” can be related to the city of Triest. Much better if it was “Ou-ou-ou“, also imitated by affine spirits like Germano Mosconi in his famous vocalization “Ma che ou!“.
San Nicolò 7 – Babbo Natale 2

Canzonet call
Babbo Natale: there is not a famous canzonet correlated to Babbo Natale, or maybe there are trops and now they don’t come us inamente.
San Nicolò: San Nicolò de Bari / la festa dei scolari / se no i ghe fa la festa / ghe taierem la testa
Triestinity points: the canzonet of San Nicolò is chiarament an hymn to fancazzism.
San Nicolò 8 – Babbo Natale 2

The Santa Claus enigma
Santa Claus is the mulon that brings the nadaliz regals in many parts of the world.
Some says he is exactly Babbo Natale, but some says that he is the forest version of San Nicolò. So there is the solit great scagaz of hypothesis.
We have a third version: Santa Claus, in reality, is the sconted name of Edi Kraus, the assessor of “Sviluppo attività economiche” of Triest. So, this tradiction of buying a lot of regals for Nadal is only a sgaious plan of the administration to sell more and to rilanc the economy, ciò.
Triestinity points: they both loses.
San Nicolò 8 – Babbo Natale 2 – Santa Kraus 1

Discussion
The results confirm incontrovertibly that San Nicolò is the man who brings the regals to the triestin mocoloses, pochi longhee, 8-2, ciap and take home. The very interesting thing is that there are a lot of suspicious indizs that seems to demonstrate that Babbo Natale is lanfur, like the great efficiency, the hardly working all year and the mania of regaling panoces. If God is not furlan, maybe Babbo Natale is. We think that probably Babbo Natale is the lanfur helper of San Nicolò, that makes the great part of the job, while San Nicolò works (hahaha, works!) only in Triest.
However, we steal a secret from both. This year the regals more boba will be the FRICO, the books Polska… rivemo! and Zinque bici e un amaro Montenegro, that are in all the bober libraries of Triest. And the Monon Behaviors, obvious.
No, this is not a occult reclam. It is written in grasset. If it was occult, it would have been written in picio e sconto to cazarvela 😉

Conclusion
San Nicolò is the one who brings the regals in Triest. Babbo Natale in the rest of the world. Further studies must be fully finanziated to understand if Babbo Natale is lanfur or not. So we need a lot of money. And a spritz for San nicolò, thanks.
P.s. Yes. There will be a Monon behavior 4 in 2014.

Acknowledgements
We thanks all the mulones that will sustain the Monon Behavior Reseach Department this Christmas with our books. Thank, we love you 🙂
But also the others dei, we love you uguale.
We thanks the Befana if she will not ciaparsela that we have called her “old maranteega”. Dei, te son bela e cocola, portine qualcossa!
To the third King Magio: “BIRRA!!! BIRRA!!! NOT MIRRA!!! DEI!”
And Chiara Gelmini for her lovely pupols. Babbo Natale is so cocol that for a moment we wanted him to win 😉

References
Lutazzi L. 1968. El can de Trieste. Fiaschi de vin records.
Manna D. 2009. Miramare-Opicina: a preliminary study on the best bicycle way. Monon behavior Vol. 69 No. 90: 9-12. Bianca&Volta edizioni.
Manna D. 2010. Is God a lanfur or not? A mystic research. Tre volte Monon Behavior: 17-22. Bianca&Volta edizioni.
Nonciclopedia. 2013. Dimostrazione dell’inesistenza di Babbo Natale.
NORAD (North American Aerospace Defense Command). 1955. NORAD Tracks Santa.
Mosconi G. 1991. Ah non lo so io. Gaetano & Quel mona che bate la porta editori.
Povia. 2000eciapilo. Quando i bambini fanno Oh. Vorrei esser becco. Ah no, iera diverso el titolo. Bon no me ricordo.

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11 commenti a San Nicolò vs Babbo Natale: who brings the regals to the triestin mocoloses?

  1. Avatar bonalama

    – his slittin sburtated??? -!!!zucaded !!!. Please correct asap. 4 the rest… very nice

  2. Avatar Fiora

    My present personal experience (absolutely on my skin 🙁 ) is that patoc mocolons are so viziated that wait regalons from both.
    Flicas & flicas for a mulet’s smile.
    San Nicolò and Santa Claus: no winners,no loosers…anz! the only ciulated are parents & grand parents.

  3. bonalama: giusto, coregeremo sul MB4 🙂
    fiora: mi me portava san nicolò, a nadal invece se se scambiava i regali tra parenti.
    babbo natale non pervenuto, ma bon, iero convinto che el portassi ai altri bambini del mondo e che el saltassi trieste perchè tanto qua gavemo san nicoljò 😉

  4. Avatar Fiora

    @3
    orpo ‘pena in tempo, ciò! Grassie Diego! Per cresser fioi boni e bravi le tradizioni xè fondamentali.
    Cussì, forte del studio qua de sora e del tuo dotto parer tento de inzinganar la minudaja de famiglia che per lori val solo s Nicolò e che per sto ano schluss!*

    * te vanzi un spritz!;)

  5. Avatar ufo

    Mi spero ancora in tela befana, che la me porti qualcossa. No per altro, ma ghe xe tante de quele befane in giro che se ogniduna me porta un qualcossa ala fine no go più dover meter tuto el ciapado…

  6. Avatar Fiora

    @5
    “xè tante de quele befane in giro…”
    e con sto asserto Ufo se ga zogà la disponibilità dela triestina media!
    😀 😀 😀

  7. Avatar Fiora

    baba triestina media pensier: “befane a noialtre?!” Ciò sto Ufo cussì de compania el fa witz ‘ssai cocoli ma ch’el sia un bicc maschilista? dioguardi un bicc misogino? e pensar Jole che ghe gavevo fato un pensierin…
    savè cossa? Sto ano a lu niente calza col mandolato !

  8. Avatar ufo

    No, Fiora, mandolato no, mi fussi più per l’austroungarico marzipan… se po no xe in calzeton no fa niente, xe anca altri contenitori, de stofa o de altro (e xe colpa tua che desso me vien in mente de quela volta che per scherzo a un ghe gavemo svodà la calza e travasà i regali in un… no voio dir cossa, ma iera fato de latice e el se gà slargà e slongà bastanza, e no iera un guanto de chirurgo).

    Po, no xe colpa mia se la triestina media vardandose in specio la se vedi befana, xe colpa del specio. Mi me limito a constatar che ogni tanto anca i speci i ga razon. Maschilista no penso proprio de eser, anca se no se pol mai saver, per come che le parole le cambia significato col tempo. Disemo che fin desso i me ga zigà drio veramente de tuto, ma sto quà no. Misogino, pò, son’dà zercarlo sul vecio dizionario, e posso dir tranquilo de no, anzi. Me spiasi per la Jole, ma la povera putela la gaverà vita sai difizile per come che la se ciama: xe zerti nomi sfigadi tipo Jole, Redenta e Abissinia che un proprio no lo vedi indoso a una muleta soto i otanta. Magari se la se presentassi come Chanel…

    Posso dir? No ve seca? Bon, anca se ve seca. La triestina media no xe che me spiri ssai, de solito la xe banale e noiosa (fora e drento i linzioi) e mi preferissio un poco meno quantità e un poco più qualità. Cussì xe la vita, mi son sai de compania ma fazo el prezioseto (visto che poso). 🙂

  9. Avatar Fiora

    @8″ la triestina media de solito* la xè banale e noiosa…”
    al rogo ufo l’eretico!

    *el “de solito” ofri l’apiglio per la difesa. se te zonti un “escluse le presenti”, per le tue pregresse inconfutabili benemerenze te se la sughi con un indulto plenario… altro che silvio 😉

  10. Avatar ufo

    Son ben contento de conceder sto punto, e no solo per gaver pase in casa: le cocole presenti su bora.la no xe mai ne banali ne noiose, amen.

    L’indulto plenario comprendi la licenza de andar vanti far peccato, vero?

  11. Avatar Luisa G.

    solo Sankt Niklaus ! Babbo nadal no existe !

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