15 febbraio 2011

Capo in B tanta special: ecco la guida definitiva ai caffè triestini elaborata dal Monon Behavior Research Deparment

Terza e ultima anteprima del Tre Volte Monon Behavior 🙂
Mi pareva giusto diffondere questa importante guida per foresti per orientarsi nel mondo del capo manigheto 😉
Il pupolo a fianco è dei grandi Vile&Vampi.

P.S. Chi vuole restare aggiornato con le novità, anteprime e progetti del Monon Behavior Research Department può iscriversi alla mailing list strucando qua. No ve riva più de una mail al mese, tranquili, saria tropa fadiga!

P.P.S. Qua trovè l’articolo in formato PDF che xe più bel.


Capoinbing: the final guide for the cofe coffee

DIEGO MANNA
Monon Behavior Research Department

Abstract
The city of Triest has a great cultural tradition of coffee, from centuries. But the forestis have always a lot of difficulties in understanding the peculiarity of the triestin coffee names, that are different from the other cities. We propose here a classification of the principal triestin coffees to help people to distinguish a capo in b from a cafelate and a nero from a maciated coffee. We also give an evolutionary explanation of the triestin’s love for the coffee.

Key words: gocià, nero, Karl VI, ndemo dei, indormio

Introduction
Triest is a city characterized by the passion for the coffee. This sort of symbiosis began in the 1700 when the city was proclamed port franc and a lot of coffee from all the world arrived here for the empire. The story of the proclamation as port franc is in reality one of the biggest misunderstanding of the history. The real version is that Karl VI, during a visit to the city of Triest, was in a betol of citavec drinking some otavos. The betoler, very proud for this unexpected visitor, offered him a lot of good vinazz from all the world, but Karl VI was very impressed by two of them: a porto and a cabernet franc. So he said to his scribacheen to note the names of those wines, but the screbacheen was yet careego and, with a lot of fadeega, was able to write only “Triest, port franc”. Back to Wien, Karl VI, who did not remember anything of that night, found that note, and understanding feesche for fiaschee (literally), proclamed Triest port franc (Kartoff, 1745). To remember that epic night, the city of Triest has dedicated to Karl VI a statue visible in Unity Square (Fig. Ador), that for some sporcaciones researchers is a lode to his virility (Euro, personal communication).

Fig. Ador. The statue of Karl VI in Unity Square, taken from the correct angolature to understand its real meaning.

Now Triest is very rinomated for its historic cafés, where many important men of culture used to meet, like Joyce, Svevo and Saba, probably to speak with siora Jole and siora Ucia about the increasing aggressivity of cocals, or about the sporcugn of citavec, or about the young muleria that skizz too much while tuffing, or other arguments like these so important for the city. Obviously we don’t include the name of Magris in this list of literates because he is the only one still alive and he could riempir us of piadoni intel popocee.
In these cafés, triestins drink a lot of different coffees, that puntualment incasinate all the forestis which, asking for a capuceen, receive what they call a maciated coffee. This inverigolament of the coffee names is a triestin linguistic endemism called capoinbing (Manna, 2009a). The aim of this study is to offer an easy guide of the triestin coffees and to try to understand the reasons of the triestins’ love for this bevand.

Material and methods
As we have scoionated ourselves of using always the first person scoionament sampling method (Manna, 2009b), to describe the triestin coffees we utilize the new second person parasiting sampling method, that consists in going out to drink a picolez with a friend and then ask for another picolez and another and another more. At the end, you have to be very able to perform an indianing (Manna, 2009c) to not pay. For this study, we drink all the coffees of the bar, but we know that too much coffees could be very dangerous, so we alternated the coffees with beers in order to bilanciate the sveianding effects of the coffees with the incocalinding effects of the beers. But now we do not feel very good. Maybe the sugar of the coffees was invelenated.

Results
We found a very long list of cofe coffees with a lot of variations and personalizations that are impossible to elencate all together. We give here a elenc of the principal triestin coffees:
Nero: the nero is the espresso of the rest of Italy. The name derives obviously from the color, even if some superficial researchers may say that all coffees are black. However, if you ask a nero in Friul they will give you a bikkier of wine.
Capo: capo is the diminutive of the word “cappuccino”, that is too long for the spiccious triestins. However, this cappuccino is not the italian cappuccino, but it is the italian maciated coffee.
Capo in b: spiccious form for “cappuccino (that means maciated coffee) in bikkier (that means in bikkier)”. There are a lot of hypothesis for this preferenz of putting the coffee in a bikkier: some like to see better the coffee to evaluate the color and the schium, some say that the glass disperd faster the calor so you can drink the coffee without brusing your lips and before it looses its aroma, some say that their mouth is habituated to drink otavos in osmeeza so they do not want to change the shape of the bikkier, some say that it is more fashion, some say that the glass is more hygienic than the ceramic that is porose, some say that no i sa dei, viva l’A e po’ bon, some say “ah perchè esisti anca in taza?”, and finally some say that they just want to break the maroons to the cameriers.
Capo in b tanta special: the capo in b with a lot of schiume (tanta) and a spruzade of ciculate polver (special). Some evolutionist believe that this coffee was born in the bar of Economy at the University of Triest, but this is not yet demonstrated. Aproposit of ciculate, always remember that in triestin the ciculate is pronunced “ciocoGLIata”, like BarcoGLIa dei.
Cafelate (pr: cafeGLIate): here it is, sconted by this easy name: the italian normal cappuccino.
Deca: the spiccious form of decaffeinato po’. Coffee decoffeed to not become too cofe.
Gocià: solit spiccious form for gocciato, a coffee with a iozz of schiume of boiled milk. The iozz must be put rigorosament in the centre, otherwise semo cagai.
Maciated milk: not to be confonded with the maciated coffee, that do not exist in Triest, because it is called capo, so you cannot confond it with this, but maybe you could confond it with the cappuccino, that also do not exist in Triest, because it is called cafelate, so maybe you could confond the maciated milk with the cafelate, but it is different, because the maciated milk is milk maciated by a ceeceeneen of espresso, but in Triest the espresso do not exist because it is called nero, so it is milk maciated of black. Clear no?
Correct: this is a nero corrected with a ceeceeneen of something, generally trape.
Ginseng coffee: recent correction for the nero. Some monatematic researchers think that this coffee is consumed sopratut by males that believe that the great aphrodisiac effects of the ginseng are ulteriorment empowered by the nero. In fact everybody know that i neri lo ga più longo.
Marocheen: this is a capo served with the tazz spalmed with nutella. Recent european dispositions prescribe that the camerier, when serving this coffee, must write on the tazz “ocio che te se sgionfi”.
Cafè de cafè: this is not an official coffee that you can find in a bar, but we cite it because it is very particular. It is used principalment by tired students and consists in making a coffee with the moka and then making another coffee using the first coffee to replace the water of the moka.
Cafè with lemon: some bevandelic petesons use this for sbruming when they drink too much, while others indicate this as a good grandmother’s remedy for the headache. This remedy seems to have a strong logical semantic international basis: headache → kopfweh (headache in german) → cofe (triestin word derived by kopfweh, similar in signification to “el mona”) → cafè with le-mon (el mona in french).
Personalizations and combinations: there are a lot of personalizations that triestins like to have in their cofe coffee: giant tazz, medium tazz, cold milk, hot milk, caprine milk, double restricted nero, long nero, long capo, capo manigheto, capo misciated with plastic cuciarin, capo misciated with iron cuciarin, capo misciated with barman’s finger, white sugar, brown sugar, aspartame similsugar, forza sugar, capo picio in taza granda, capo grando in taza picia, capo deca correct, nero in b tanta deca, gocià in capo nero maciated deca special, capo incazà nero in 50 special and infinite others.

Discussion
Our results confirm that the triestins like to drink a lot of different coffees, and like also to inverigolate their names, inventing every day new variations in order to scassar the maroons to the cameriers and to remenate the forestis.
We think that the high coffee consumption of the city of Triest evolved because of a small anomaly in the triestins’ behavior: this population is always described as lazy, gnancapelcoolist, nosepolist, immobilist and pomigadoristic, but in reality some recent studies have demonstrated that they sometimes have the great need of “darse na sveiada” (Dei and Morselli, 2009). This is also confirmed by the existence of the ndemodeing, that is a behavior characterized by the emission of different vocalizations with the probable intention of “darse na sveiada”. Some of these vocalizations are: ndemo dei, ndemo vanti dei, cameena dei, daghe dei, papuza dei, opa dei, pompa dei. This behavior is so spread that there is even a facebook group called Nndemo Dei and also a Guf song with the same name (Guf, 2009). So, we are quite sure that also the high coffee consumption is dovuted to this triestin cyclical need of “darse na sveiada”, dei.

Conclusion
The city of Triest is characterized by a great culture for the coffee, that lead to a daily generation of new variations of coffee with peculiar names different from other cities, that the forestis have to learn soon in order to not incasinate themselves.
We think that an interesting project would be to create a unique universal coffee in order to satisfy all the triestins. This coffee must be a marocheen deca correct with caffeine tanta special without ciocogliate and deschiumizated in a bikkier pitured as a tazz but trasparent and gocià with the ginseng. We need a lot of finanziament to produce this. Ndemo dei!

Acknowledgements
We thank Euro for the soffiate of the correct angolature of the statue of Karl VI.
We thanks Alberto Krebel, the Forum Trieste and all the facebook groups dedicated to the capo in B for the infinite knowledge about triestin coffees. And bast, ndemo vanti dei.

References
Dei D. and Morselli D. 2009. Demo Morselli vs Demo Dei. Demo Wars 11: 2-3.
Guf E. 2009. Ndemo dei. Monon Behavior’s Youtube channel.
Kartoff F. 1745. Karl VI vien from Wien und trink triestin wein. Der Filastrokken 11: 23-24.
Manna D. 2009a. Triestin language endemisms. Monon behavior Vol. 69 No. 90: 9-12. Bianca&Volta edizioni.
Manna D. 2009b. Miramare-Opicina: a preliminary study on the best bicycle way. Monon behavior Vol. 69 No. 90: 6-8.
Manna D. 2009c. Spinazing, the triestin answer to the crisis. Monon behavior Ciu: 8-12.



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14 commenti a Capo in B tanta special: ecco la guida definitiva ai caffè triestini elaborata dal Monon Behavior Research Deparment

  1. Flores

    about capo in b. me runs the obligation to zont that many lip red painted babes prefer the glass because ” beca de meno el segno dei labri piturai e co’ go finì, fa meno schifo de véder “

  2. Flores

    Cossa mi’*?!’ndemo dei !
    It’s a serious & impersonal contribution to a very serious research.

    *Mi a transparent lustralips of the serie pezoeltacòn-ch’elbuso…

  3. ilaria

    Finally a little few lucidity!!! 🙂
    I came from Gorizia!!! Bye bye to everyone

  4. susta

    Per mi un gocià deca late fredo in b manigheto, grassie… (and for the delight of those who will bever after me, I don’t spiturach my lips, but gnanca with burocacao, be tranquil!).

  5. kaiokasin

    I have to zont the coffee with amounted cream, very tipical of Cremcaffè in Condoms place.

  6. Flores

    @4 But not “after” Susta! it’s just an aesthetic contestual visual matter.
    The last thingh we can say against patòc torrefations is that they don’t perfectly wash coffi cups& glasses. dio guadi, it’s a point of honour for them!
    I just mean to say that lipstik trace is less horrible to see on the glass instead on the white cup, and it doesn’t morally oblige the drinking babe to pass brioche paper on, in the patetic teptative of hiding it just a little bit for creanz.

  7. Flores

    the “why & because” of capo in be’s choice are several, Susta, and the Author has indicated quite all.
    I just have humbly suggested one, probably male unknown.
    That is’nt necessary neither yous nor mine.

  8. you tandool… you could show the just link (PDF) in cheema of the article

  9. ok, i spost it in cheema.

    and under propost of the commercial supervisor business angel venture capitalist elevator pitch knowhow ventilatio sputri I have also zonted the banner, half ass (ciapa!) 🙂

  10. @9: I’d like to answer and say thanks in eeodree speaking… but this remenghees of albionic language is good only for scriving stupidezees papeers 😉

  11. Flores

    @10 Paolo,does ” eeodree speaking” mean ” risposta”? GENIAL !!!!
    Is it a codificated term in mononic idiom? In this case, COMPLIMENTS , great D.M.!
    If originnally yours, CONGRATULATIONS for the neologism Paolo, and “ala via cussì”!

  12. Flores

    @9 Diego,standing more attentive, my last discovery is that in defect of specific details, barists usually sgnacc capo in b. and not vice versa to all the babes simply asking un capo.
    ” in tazina, ma no fa gnente”, is my regular comment.

  13. nice observations Flores, thanks!
    maybe the barist gives capo in b to babes with rossett and capo in tazz to babes without rosett…

  14. Flores

    Let’s these donkey barists go in namo. I don’t want to change my mononic fashion addict behavior & contemporary I wanna drink my capo only by a white-dente-de-can small cup, usting!

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